The Case of the Mysterious Fine Wine Collection

No historic home would be complete without a wine cellar and Aston Magna was no exception to that rule. However, the former owner’s girlfriend was concerned about security, so she had added a lock to the cellar door, and then lost the key. Which meant that no one had entered the cellar for close to ten years, and we ended up closing on the purchase of the estate before we had been able to evaluate the condition and/or quantity of wine stored inside it under lock and (no) key. 

Removing the lock turned out to be a complex undertaking. This was no simple Master Lock combination padlock that you could remove with a pair of plyers. This was a military grade security device that took several locksmiths several days to remove. When we finally got the door open and went inside, we were greeted by floor to ceiling cobwebs, traces of bats, and some of the largest spiders I have ever seen (and I grew up in Australia where it was not uncommon to see tarantulas that were almost a foot long). However, there among the haze of mould and mildew, stacked neatly in racks, lay a huge number of bottles; everything from classic Bordeaux and Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon to champagne, liqueurs, and a selection of wine from all over the world.

Not being a wine connoisseur, what spoke to me were the bottles that had interesting names or reminded me of people and places rather than the quality or variety of grape. Six bottles of an Australian blend called The Optimist—what the label described as a combination of shiraz, cabernet, and merlot—no wonder you needed to be a glass-half-full sort of person to give that concoction a try. Blue Nun—that sweet syrupy wine my grandmother used to sip at the Holidays. A bottle of Campari—my sometimes drink at college, always paired with soda water, a twist of orange and as many ice cubes as could be mustered in a British pub (ice being a scarce commodity in such establishments). A bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau from 1996. I remember the enthusiastic advertising campaign—“il est arrivé!!!”—when the wine appeared on the shelves in the local wine shop. Plus, a few valuable bottles of fine wine including the crown jewel—a jeroboam of Chateau Lafite from 1986 that had thankfully escaped the mould and was worth around $2,500.

Alex found a wine appraiser, the aptly named Cellar Seller, who came to the house, evaluated the collection, and then packed and shipped anything of value to a wine auction in California. The appraiser’s humor, like some of the wine he evaluates, was dry. When I asked him to sum up the Aston Magna wine collection in a few words, he said “most of the collections I appraise comprise 90% drinkable and 10% outstanding wine. This collection is a bit different as it’s 90% crap”, the Lafite presumably being the outlier on his undrinkable–drinkable–outstanding scale. Thankfully, although 90% of the wine was not of particularly high quality/condition, there was a lot of it, so he estimated that he would be able to send almost 100 cases of wine to auction.

…Although 90% of the wine was not of particularly high quality/condition, there was a lot of it, so he estimated that he would be able to send almost 100 cases of wine to auction.

While he was on hold with UPS waiting to confirm the shipping logistics, we chatted for a few minutes, and he told me about his other passion—show cats. I was unaware that show cats were a thing, but having now learned what they are, I’m a fan. The Cellar Seller is the proud parent of the reigning world champion Persian, a truly beautiful cat, based on the photos he showed me on his cell phone.

The Cellar Seller returned a week later to collect the wine, a day earlier than originally planned as he was attending a big Cat Show in New England, and the reigning world champion needed some down time before the event to decompress, primp and rest his paws after a long trip to the competition. I couldn’t be in MA that day, so the Cellar Seller agreed to make a short video as he was packing up the wine (see below). He is also going to forward me the packing list of the bottles that were included in the auction for record keeping purposes. 

I’ll drink to that!

Over and out.